About the Author

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JoAnn Wingfield, or Jiang Lan 蓝江, was born in Zhenjiang, a city on the Yangzi River, China, and raised in Shanghai. During Mao’s Cultural Revolution (1966-1976), she was sent to Inner Mongolia for reeducation as a teenager. She spent 13 years there, at first farming the barren land as a peasant, and later on, earning an undergraduate degree in English and teaching English. In 1986, she came to the United States to pursue graduate studies. She was able to complete a Master’s degree as well as a Ph.D. in the United States despite having almost no secondary education. She had a successful academic career: teaching as a tenured professor, working in executive and leadership positions in various universities, and serving as a board member of several national and international professional organizations. JoAnn retired in 2011 after nine years of caring for her husband during his struggle with Alzheimer's disease. She now lives in Seattle with her two dogs. This is her first non-academic book. 


In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself
within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.

—Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy


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I first met Clyde in 1987 with some other friends of ours, less than a year after I had arrived to the US from China.

“Would you like to have a drink?” He asked me.

“Yes.” I thought he was asking me a general question if I liked alcohol beverages, and “yes” was the polite answer.

To my horror and embarrassment, the waiter brought me a glass of wine.

What could I do? I am allergic to alcohol.


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And gradually, we built a life together.


One day I got the call.

“… I need to talk to a family member about Dr. Wingfield’s diagnosis. He said I should talk to you, no one else.”

My heart dropped.


In the years to come, for me as a well spouse, the meaning of love and family would transform.

We were blessed to work with some amazing caregivers, and we lived through things I would never have imagined.

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To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.

—Charlie Chaplin


We surrounded ourselves with love.

As a well spouse, I am proud to have the will and resilience to carry on my duties with hope and compassion.

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In memory of Clyde Wingfield, 1931-2011